I never thought about how to teach people to appreciate and admire. I think it's the fate that makes me born so cautious, giving me a lot to think about. Whether it's meeting or parting, it always inexplicably brings up many thoughts in my mind. It turns and lingers in my mind, just like usual. This is probably the reason for my foolishness, but unfortunately, I can't let go of this constant feeling in my heart. But thinking about it, if there is no cure for this attachment, then there is no solution. Gradually, I understand some of the past and naturally understand the past. I no longer pretend to be long-winded, but I still can't get rid of this strange habit. I care about some things, especially the appearance and shadow that I like. It makes me think more and more, and it makes the frost quietly appear on the window, and it makes the moon read so much sadness.
But this has disturbed her gentle intention. Seeing the spring scenery outside the window and the singing of the birds, I suddenly realized that I don't need to think so much. It is fortunate for me to be a guest in this green world. I should be content with the ordinary and usual. At this moment, I no longer need to inquire as persistently as before. I often ask about the appearance of the road ahead and the distant places. I wonder if it will be calm or sad. At this moment, I can't bear to leave anymore. It is no longer the unintentional obsession as before. I have turned it into an intentional obsession. I think that the clarity in my heart is not as lightly described as it seems. The more I walk, the more I see, the more difficult it is to understand this intentional obsession. Whether it is the past or the present, it is the result of my intention.
Let it be like this, let the shadows come like this, let them go like this. It's not that I'm not allowed, but it's just that I can't find out what the result will be. In the past, I often heard that fate is like this, and now I often have conversations with fate like this. Perhaps thinking like this is somewhat helpless, but it is worth it. Often, the stories that can be written down are not written according to the expectations and hopes of the readers. If there are any wonderful methods and strategies to change, then the past is no longer called the past, and the future does not need to be called the future. It is not necessary to think so deeply. It is just a deep thought. It is also the reason for this intentional obsession.
It is clear that the spring and moonlight at this moment may only be the brightness and clarity of this moment. I don't know where they will go in an instant, and I don't know if the change will bring autumn frost or winter snow. But at least at this moment, the shadows between the eyebrows and in the heart are still gentle, like "the light robe tries the first branch, the warm mist is slender and clear in the distance. The willow eyes slowly open, revealing a sleepy look, and the plum blossoms gradually fill the dimness." There is no need to seek anymore, no need to search anymore.
From now on, if everything is already known at this moment, there will be no one to write about poetry and romance.
There is no need to talk about profound theories and heavenly secrets. If I don't intend to open the curtains, where can I see the spring and moonlight?
This article is synchronized updated to xLog by Mix Space
The original link is https://nishikori.tech/posts/prose/2020-04-21