After unintentionally wandering for a long time, I feel that being alone is more suitable for me, and I am also suitable for being alone. It is not that I don't love the hustle and bustle of the world, but I find it extremely annoying and terrifying. However, as time goes by, I actually enjoy being around some people. But I also think about it, as I see and think more, I also hope and miss the slow pace of spring and autumn. Perhaps it is not allowed to have such loneliness. It's quite interesting, but it's also helpless.
The more I experience being alone, the more I appreciate the solitude. The charm of the solitary figure in the small window is something that I have to let go of. But it is impossible to express the gratitude for such luck. How can I not feel lost? In the past, I couldn't help but feel this way, and even if I clearly understand and talk about it, it is useless. Instead, it makes me feel even more lonely and contemplative for a long time. I no longer think about how to write about this kind of figure. It's better to say that I have seen through many things.
Being alone and being in a crowd are clearly different, but they are also very similar. It is the experience of these days, and it is unnecessary to say how lonely being alone is and how noisy being in a crowd is. It is fortunate to encounter the understanding of "the same clouds and moon, different streams and mountains" and the feeling of "the beauty of the wind and moon transcends time, and the deep affection is self-evident". But even so, it is irrelevant to talk about how profound and philosophical it is. After going through it, seeing it, and wandering around, I have become accustomed to this calmness.
But I can't help but have some selfishness. Now I think it is because of my narrow-mindedness or my preference for tranquility. I can't let go of the tea and books, the plays and lyrics in this small building. Fortunately, in this green space, what I see now between my eyebrows and eyes is the me who walked in a plain robe in the previous life. And in the end, it is Longqing who sits at the desk and returns with a steady hand. Whether I think about it myself or talk to others, I can't bear to mention the truth and the originality that is different from poetry and tenderness. But the underlying color that often lingers in my eyebrows and heart is just a passing and farewell. You and I are indispensable passers-by in each other's lives, and in the end, we must bid farewell to another strand of shadow, and we can't help but bid farewell to another strand of shadow.
Thinking about it, these days can be easily counted, but it is a treasure that cannot be returned once it is gone. It is entangled in countless struggles, and it is unnecessary to mention later. This feeling of "it's a different taste in my heart" also unconsciously comes to mind.
And when you think about it, you don't have the thought of "you have never realized how difficult it is to express those many indescribable difficulties, so that's why it's so easy to let go." I really don't want to argue about it. I just listen to the song "Locking the Lin Pouch" and write a few verses, and I am fortunate to come across a perfect cup of Tie Guanyin tea. I feel more and more peaceful in my heart, and I no longer think about buying top-grade Tie Guanyin from Anxi as before. It is no longer the same as before when I think about buying top-grade Tie Guanyin from Anxi. I feel that the charm of the play and the fragrance of tea are secondary.
I also feel that it is fortunate to encounter the most suitable moment before my hair turns gray. It is the luckiest thing.
This article is synchronized and updated to xLog by Mix Space. The original link is https://nishikori.tech/posts/prose/2020-12-10.