It might be better to teach me to be more indifferent, so as not to feel so melancholic at this moment. Watching this bamboo wither like this is truly a taste that I can't quite understand. If it were to wither naturally, it would be fine, but it seems that I lack moderation, pouring too much water, which is a difficult situation to describe. Yet she endures the bitterness, perhaps afraid that speaking frankly would offend good intentions. Watching her temples frost over, I feel at a loss, unable to express my feelings at this moment.
Our companionship is naturally good, and we don't need to add any unnecessary words to our affection for each other. Encountering such difficulties naturally leads to a sense of vigilance in our hearts. If one is unaware of the need for moderation in all things, it is understandable, but knowing this and still being inconsistent in one's actions is truly blameworthy.
Thinking further, it often seems that deep emotions are short-lived, and it is only through experiencing separation that one truly understands. Whether in poetry or lyrics, it seems that all has been said but not fully expressed. Reflecting on these feelings, it seems that seeing a shadow can fill one's heart with affection, like a clear stream flowing gently and endlessly. However, unexpectedly, it all comes to an end, the brilliance that cannot be described in words, leaving a sense of desolation that words cannot capture.
What one is about to see often contradicts what one has been told, and it is only after the fact that one recalls the sentiments expressed in poetry. This impression is deeply ingrained, capturing the essence of emotional reflection. In the letter "Reply to Master Xie" by Song Yu, there is a passage that reads: "Roughly like flowing clouds and water, initially without a fixed form, but always acting where one should act and stopping where one should not, naturally blending with reason, exuding a unique charm." Upon further contemplation, one realizes that Master Xie's thoughts are not just about the words themselves, but also about the actions and considerations for others. And as for the later philosopher Zhu Xi, "knowing and acting as one, there is no room for doubt." Such reflections truly require deep contemplation.
Considering the current state of desolation, one must follow the advice of these two scholars, maintaining a balance between knowing and acting, and reflecting on the emotions in one's heart. Shamefully, I feel so melancholic, and the bamboo must also be unable to bear it. So I advise myself that perhaps tomorrow I will water it again, with just half a cup of clear water, which should be sufficient. If not, it would only lead to a silent affection, better to be a bit more "heartless."
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The original link is https://nishikori.tech/posts/prose/2021-06-15