After much thought, I still couldn't figure out how to describe the night sky I saw at this moment. I thought about using phrases like "the reflection of geese in the river, the plum blossoms are thin, there is no dust, and the snow is flying and the clouds are rising, the night window is like daylight." Or "the silver shadow flies with the pear snow, the jade is thin, the clear brilliance flows with the white frost." But the image in front of me is gradually becoming vague in my mind, as if it is already the brushstroke under the intention of heaven and earth. At the moment of first sight, my mind can't help but want to write or recite lightly. However, it is just like before, with just a turn of thought, my mind is already intoxicated, and I don't think about much anymore.
Gradually, when I see the shadow of the snow, the emotions in my heart and the thoughts in my mind are no longer as joyful as before. It seems unrelated to how tired I am. Upon careful consideration, it is probably because the liking that used to arise naturally has turned into love. Just like osmanthus flowers, I am deeply infatuated, but I never thought about tasting osmanthus cake or osmanthus wine. Love is not about having a purpose.
Sometimes, I ponder and realize that there is not much difference between me and them.
Not only me, in the past, whether it was a thousand years or a hundred years, the fleeting glances and shadows, how ordinary they are, how they shine, how they anticipate the praise of the future viewers.
At the beginning, which is also the past, I felt that my heart was still in the warm spring, and it was even more common to occasionally encounter the beautiful autumn. But I never thought that the winter I had read about in books or heard people talk about would come so quickly, and at the same time, it would be so ordinary and even more ordinary. Looking at it now, the gentlemen of the past are bowing and dedicating themselves, and the nine fields of clear orchids that have been planted and the hundred acres of fragrant orchids that have been grown are already covered in frost and the night looks even darker. It makes people feel lost. Later, with the later, I can't bear to think about it anymore, or even mention it.
But it's still good, even though the long night I see now is as ordinary and common as ever, I am fortunate to encounter this snow, so I won't think about whether the distant sky will become longer and darker later. At least for now, because of this flying snow, it has become clear and brighter for a while. Maybe it can't compare to the brilliance of the past spring, but it can still make people can't help but feel anticipation. It's like the joy of finding a light in a dark room, not just a whimsical thought during a sleepless night.
And what makes me feel even more fortunate, and even more blessed, is that I have the opportunity to become a snowflake in this flying snow. Maybe at this moment, I have transformed from a graceful dance to a silver shadow, joining this faint and bright light, which is not much different, but it also brings joy. I am deeply looking forward to the future and the many people who will come later. If my brightness is not enough, but I am a pure and passionate snowflake, reflecting the longing of which night, maybe it will only last for a moment like now, but it is enough to proudly meet the gentlemen and osmanthus flowers.
Even if I may not have the opportunity to see the future and the future after the future, and have turned into dust, I must have smiled.
At least I have illuminated, just like the snow in this long night at this moment.
This article is synchronized and updated to xLog by Mix Space
The original link is https://nishikori.tech/posts/prose/2021-12-25