It occurred to me that, inevitably, I should just say it clearly like this. Even if I say it, it will inevitably make people feel embarrassed, but it's also okay to think about it. Thinking about it, it's just this kind of obsession. I have never seen that mountain myself, but I have only heard someone talk about it, or it may be because of the shadow described in those words. I think it's still unclear whether it's water or not. It's just an ordinary feeling that often happens to be fortunate enough to share.
But it's just like this, and sometimes, more often than not, those subtle expressions and the subtle shadows gradually become blurred. It's not just the other feelings, I have never thought about it. Even in this dream, it will also come and go in a dream. The more it gradually becomes, the more it becomes unclear, and it has become unintentionally unclear. Whether it is the dream's expressions or my own shadow, it is just a superficial expression even if it is intoxicated.
And often, it is precisely these seemingly insignificant expressions and shadows that make me deeply fascinated. They are not always so beautiful, but the gradually fading ink shadows often appear shallow, making it difficult for me to understand. But it often turns out that this gradual deepening is the deepening of my feelings.
It is exactly the same as before, unintentionally, in this heart, I want to turn the already distant eyebrows and eyes into shadows that are gradually fading away. But gradually, I don't know why, it has opened up a pool of shades and colors,
The mountain becomes greener in the ink, and the water gradually becomes clearer between the ink. The strokes and feelings, the feelings and shadows, often make people unable to think about them unintentionally. When I think about them, I don't care about their depth or shallowness. I often want to be indifferent unintentionally, and when I am indifferent, I am even more unintentional.
It is also the same with these feelings. It is precisely because of my unintentional thoughts that I can't describe the scenery in any way.
And it is even more clear that the unbearable emotions are self-evident. It is not intentional to think about it. I feel deeply about the beautiful and extraordinary moments. The lighter and denser between the eyebrows, and the contours of the shadows that are difficult to fade, are already self-evident.
I think I understand it even more clearly. This is just a foolish thought. It is appropriate to say it like this, and the willingness at this moment is like the ink color that gradually fades in the past, so it is settled. But it is even more so that this willingness comes and goes, and it is also the way of no good,
In general, this is the reason. Gradually, I have no intention to think about the emotions of looking at the mountains and water anymore, and I also have no intention to gaze at them. Gradually, I am more and more reluctant to see the moonlight, whether it is the faint silver in my eyes or the shadows in my heart.
I'm afraid that if I continue to be obsessed with it, she will want to leave lightly. I just want the mountains and water to be filled with the ink color, and that's it. The moon that brings sorrow, and the mountains and water that have dreamed in a clear dream, I can't bear to sleep with them anymore,
So, there is no need to say anything more, how can I continue to cherish it.
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The original link is https://nishikori.tech/posts/prose/2022-11-18