Earlier, when I finished writing the second draft of Chapter 81 of "Laozi" and pondered why it was not as vague as the first draft, the teachings of the Southern Master were certainly meticulous, but more often than not, they were experienced. Looking at this chapter, I no longer feel the fear and respect I felt when I first saw it. Instead, it feels natural, like reading poetry or lyrics. It no longer feels like an elusive deity, but rather like Qu Gong and Zhe Xian, who are kneeling in front of the altar with you and me, smiling kindly. I just want to meet like this, how can it be as awe-inspiring as the first time, feeling like a shadow standing in the temple.
In general, this is the essence of the Southern Master's writing. The deepest is the most ordinary, and the most profound is the most intimate sentiment. The teachings of the previous masters were not about preaching or being rigid. They often didn't need embellishment or hidden meanings. They simply spoke and explained things in a casual manner, making it clear to people. It's like the Dao that used to seem vague and mysterious. I have always believed in fate, but I am not obsessed with it. When encountering things, I embrace the concept of "doing nothing" and think about nothing. I just cherish this sentiment in my heart, whether it is seeking or contemplating. Just be careful not to be obsessed. In the past, I would have been lost and would have had to go through a period of obsession before understanding. But now, after experiencing and going through it, I realize that there is more depth and understanding. Especially when encountering the teachings of the previous masters, it no longer feels as dim and sighs as before, "The years pass by, the beauty fades, and everything turns to dust. The dream in the Qionglin is easy, the moonlight is hazy. There are various kinds of love, various kinds of heaviness." Or "Illusions and dreams are inherently empty. I only regret the sentiment, which is not long-lasting. Cutting the candle and looking at the withered paulownia. A drop by drop, unintentionally heavy." I no longer have such thoughts. It is also a common thing to seek and contemplate the impermanence of gathering and parting. In this way, I can't help but think about the relationship between fate and the Dao.
I think if it weren't for the predetermined fate, I wouldn't have experienced the ups and downs, and I wouldn't have had some encounters. It seems that the obsession, like "Silently Climbing the West Tower," naturally reveals how deep and profound it is in this sentiment. If I hadn't encountered the Dao in person, I would naturally have continued to contemplate and maintain a kind and benevolent mindset. At this moment, on the piece of rice paper on the desk, there must be heart-wrenching poems or repetitive lyrics, but they are not from a certain chapter of "Laozi". Now when I think about the impermanence of gathering and parting, it is difficult to dispel the feeling of being deeply touched. It is a constant reflection and a sense of gratitude.
It is often said that there is a long way to go in the future, but what I often think about is hope and expectation, but rarely do I intentionally think about how there will be frost and snow. Many thoughts and emotions often need to be anticipated and escaped, but in the end, they still have to be faced. How intricate and unpredictable it is. I think fate and the Dao are difficult to control, and there is no need to entangle with them. It is better to understand this earlier and not be consumed by it. It is fortunate to have realized this earlier, and even if I encounter things that are unbearable and indescribable, I don't need to be as melancholy as I was at first, nor do I need to be lost.
How can I explain the relationship between the Dao and fate? How mysterious and elusive it is. There is no need for the previous masters to be so distant as if they were from ancient times.
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The original link is https://nishikori.tech/posts/prose/2022-12-03